I cant seem to continue loving him anymore.
too tiring.
to be honest, in this relationship its infatuation. not love.
possessive, pain, disrespect.
its not worth being with you anymore.
ive wasted time, effort, love and everything i can give.
i give u my all and all. yet you said im irritating, paranoid and everything.
my heart is numb.
many times i cabbed over your area.
just a request from me to just look out of your window.
but u inisisted no.
i cried and cried, but you dont know.
because u will think all i know is to cry.
i shall stop having infatuations over you.
i shall stop all my foolish act.
i dont know if one day youll regret all youve done, all youve said.
but u know what?
when that day comes, i'll be over you

I fell in love with that person.
thats embarrassing.
so embarrassing that that's the type of person i fell in love with.
the reality behind those pictures was clearly very different.
'When i realise that my selfish decision for love could result it into some young girl getting killed. i couldnt be responsible for telling them go back. I just didnt realise how much of an impact had on these girls life. Dont react out of love. F love, because love is so pain.'

stupid thing making me dont feel like blogging.
well.
things changes damn fucking fast.
and i dont know how to fucking react to all these good/not good changes.
i still prefer the past of course.
i reallly wish i never grew up.
actaully love being 17 forever.
school is bullshit
boyfriend is crappy.
everyone seeems to be lifeless. ahh
blog tmrw(:

nvr really blogged my life since i broke up with algin.
wondering how are you?
hmm. life isnt getting better since secondary school.
i forgot blogging was used to be part of my life.
i blog almost everyday. blog is one way i stress out my everything.
i kept all what im thinking im feeling in me.
it feels so heavy.
looking back at archives, at my past.
then, wasnt so perfect either. quarrels, jealousy paranoidness kicks in.
now, its still fucking same. just lil worser.
body getting weaker as each day passes.
will anyone hear me out?
i feel so trapped.
all i need is that key to let me out.

Screw my life,

fuck my life,

fuck my ass man.

and thanks dannie for saying i might have urinary stones-_-.

REALLY thanks.

im reallly sick now.

yet, im doing so much shit.

what the fuck is life worth for.

think abt it