I seriously dont know what had become of us.
i am blogging this out because i feel so frustrated.
no one is able to pity me.
i love him. yes, i do.
but, sometimes love just turn out another way,which is jealousy.
omg.
i care for him. he mistreat it as a threat,
and claims that i dont trust him.
he just doesnt understand that i really understand and trust him.
just one concern question of what are you doing, seemed demanding for him to answer.
i dont know. i simply dont know what to do.
i drop dead walking home at the end of the day,not due to tiredness, is due to misunderstandings we have.
i guess no one can help us out.
i guess i have no more energy to quarrel with you anymore.
i guess i have to start avoiding you.
i hate facing this.
perhaps i'll take the time when i leave SPORE to HK to think about our relationship.
Wednesday, November 28
Monday, November 26
Right. now im damn bored okay.
waiting for someone is such a torture.
damn.
i think my blog is becoming uninteresting.
in fact my life is uber boring.
seriously cant take it.
no jobs for me, no camera.
fuck.
might as well be dead.
anw. XIAO ZHU's concert is coming.
expecting something pleasant from his concert haha.
should i go PLUSH on tues?
uhm. im not 16 yet!!
hah.
Friday, November 23
i feel like dying now.
he is treating me that way.
i cant take it anymore.
i have no security at all.
why cant he just understand.
he shld be the one that know me the best, yet he did those to me.
why?
i dont think i'm that ridiculous.
im just asing him where he is.
yet he though i'm suspecting him. wtf.
i seriously hate him already.
all this months i've been enduring.
now, i cannot hold it any further.
you wan freedom yea? I"LL GIVE YOU ALL.AAAALLLLL.
i just take it i have never know u
u make me hate u so deeply without any qualms.
maybe your perpective of relationsip is diff from me.
i need security. u dont.
i neeed to kmnow your whereabouts.
nvm.
YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE YOU LIKE.
he is treating me that way.
i cant take it anymore.
i have no security at all.
why cant he just understand.
he shld be the one that know me the best, yet he did those to me.
why?
i dont think i'm that ridiculous.
im just asing him where he is.
yet he though i'm suspecting him. wtf.
i seriously hate him already.
all this months i've been enduring.
now, i cannot hold it any further.
you wan freedom yea? I"LL GIVE YOU ALL.AAAALLLLL.
i just take it i have never know u
u make me hate u so deeply without any qualms.
maybe your perpective of relationsip is diff from me.
i need security. u dont.
i neeed to kmnow your whereabouts.
nvm.
YOU CAN GO ANYWHERE YOU LIKE.
Tuesday, November 20
yesterday was awesome alright.
went sentosa. took some train into sentosa.
and enter tanjong beach.
it was running like cats and dogs.
the wind was like hurridcane.
its like whenever the wind blow passes, you'll get goosebumps!
haha.
anw, luckily the rain did stopped.
and we swam in the water.
we saw couples kissing hugging, and we did that too. opps.
haah. also we ate superdog. pretty nice.
later dont know if i should redo my hair.
need to go all the way to paya lebar. wtf.
SEE FIRST LOR>
went sentosa. took some train into sentosa.
and enter tanjong beach.
it was running like cats and dogs.
the wind was like hurridcane.
its like whenever the wind blow passes, you'll get goosebumps!
haha.
anw, luckily the rain did stopped.
and we swam in the water.
we saw couples kissing hugging, and we did that too. opps.
haah. also we ate superdog. pretty nice.
later dont know if i should redo my hair.
need to go all the way to paya lebar. wtf.
SEE FIRST LOR>
Sunday, November 18
it has been a hectic week.
went over to cousin house to stay for few days.
my sister birthday is just over.
had a wedding dinner yesterday.
OH yes, went OSCHOOL for their reggae lesson.
the instructor is damn good.
and the moves are sleek and sexy. haha.
pretty tiring though.
and yep. i need to get a camera ASAP.
im gonna shoot and film my daily life down.
i need to do so much things, yet money is so limited.
i want to work.
but not as sale assistance or promoter, all these doesnt earn me big bucks.
perhaps giving tuition for secondary or primary students.
but only math or science (bio or chem)
NOT LANGUAGE. hhaha. i suck at it.
going to give tuition ASAP TOO.
TODAY.
had my manicure done. only 5 dollars. cheap right.
those who know me should know why.
i'll post pictures on my nails ASAP.
wanted to bleach my hair,
but my mother said she's broke after i had my extensions.
hahah. thats the main reason why i shld start working like now.
oh yes. i think i;m playing MAPLE and AUDITION again.
catch me around. ((=
coming up next week is MISS LIANG's wedding on the thursday.
hahah. finally able to see her wearing her 'WHITE COSTUME'.
miss liang we all love you. rock on with ur life.
i'll blog later.someone's nagging like wtf.
went over to cousin house to stay for few days.
my sister birthday is just over.
had a wedding dinner yesterday.
OH yes, went OSCHOOL for their reggae lesson.
the instructor is damn good.
and the moves are sleek and sexy. haha.
pretty tiring though.
and yep. i need to get a camera ASAP.
im gonna shoot and film my daily life down.
i need to do so much things, yet money is so limited.
i want to work.
but not as sale assistance or promoter, all these doesnt earn me big bucks.
perhaps giving tuition for secondary or primary students.
but only math or science (bio or chem)
NOT LANGUAGE. hhaha. i suck at it.
going to give tuition ASAP TOO.
TODAY.
had my manicure done. only 5 dollars. cheap right.
those who know me should know why.
i'll post pictures on my nails ASAP.
wanted to bleach my hair,
but my mother said she's broke after i had my extensions.
hahah. thats the main reason why i shld start working like now.
oh yes. i think i;m playing MAPLE and AUDITION again.
catch me around. ((=
coming up next week is MISS LIANG's wedding on the thursday.
hahah. finally able to see her wearing her 'WHITE COSTUME'.
miss liang we all love you. rock on with ur life.
i'll blog later.someone's nagging like wtf.
Tuesday, November 13
i finally know how someone can commit sucide over love.
now i had a taste of it.
i hate being ignored.
yet i love him.
why cant love be beautiful?
have you heard the story of the matchstick girl?
its like me waiting for someone to buy those sticks
even until winter came, no one come and buy.
for survival she light up sticks by sticks for warmth
when all mathchsticks are used up, still no one bother her and she finally died.
i am like the girl waiting for him to show me the least care that he can give. i waited and waited, lastly, my heart towards him dies.
OMFG. he screwed up my life
now i had a taste of it.
i hate being ignored.
yet i love him.
why cant love be beautiful?
have you heard the story of the matchstick girl?
its like me waiting for someone to buy those sticks
even until winter came, no one come and buy.
for survival she light up sticks by sticks for warmth
when all mathchsticks are used up, still no one bother her and she finally died.
i am like the girl waiting for him to show me the least care that he can give. i waited and waited, lastly, my heart towards him dies.
OMFG. he screwed up my life
Saturday, November 10
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Thursday, November 8
sup
went to seoul garden yesterday. hahah
someone's broke.
awww. sorry.
today i;m off to sentosa.
heheh.
i'm looking forward to my hong kong trip.
i'm gonna buy sososo many things back.
things are fucking cheap too.
the best thing is that the clothings cant be found in s'pore.
yay.
bad thing is that i cant see my darl and ffriends for days.
i'll miss you guys.
considering if i should bring my laptop along.
uhmmm...
and yea. ytd someone told me that he still likes me.
i'm thinking that does true love still exist.
sometimes i think that 'm just going with the flow.
i totally have no control to choose who to love and who not to.
love is such a misery, but now i've got my darl, I'M BEING LOVED. HEHE
BYE.
shall upload pictures next time.
went to seoul garden yesterday. hahah
someone's broke.
awww. sorry.
today i;m off to sentosa.
heheh.
i'm looking forward to my hong kong trip.
i'm gonna buy sososo many things back.
things are fucking cheap too.
the best thing is that the clothings cant be found in s'pore.
yay.
bad thing is that i cant see my darl and ffriends for days.
i'll miss you guys.
considering if i should bring my laptop along.
uhmmm...
and yea. ytd someone told me that he still likes me.
i'm thinking that does true love still exist.
sometimes i think that 'm just going with the flow.
i totally have no control to choose who to love and who not to.
love is such a misery, but now i've got my darl, I'M BEING LOVED. HEHE
BYE.
shall upload pictures next time.
Wednesday, November 7
Sunday, November 4
Saturday, November 3
dont know why.
i cant sleep last night.
i have alot of confessions to make.
but theres completely no one that i can share with.
i realised there are no true friends in this world.
i really had an emo night.
my life now is so screwed.
how i wish i could disappear.
i didnt have the guts to face my misery.
oh my god.
O LEVELS is ending soon.
yet, i felt like bullshit.
phui. it isnt an happy occasion for me.
been through so much, nothing is worth being happy for.
damn.
people of my age will be rejoicing over the end of Os.
but me?
stay at home and sobbing throughout the day.
perhaps i should just follow my aunt and leave s'pore.
i dont want to think about my past, my present, my future.
IT'S ALL MY ILLUSIONS.
also. algin. i will leave the suprise i made for you outside your door step on the 6. whatever things that is meant to be yours will always be yours.
i cant sleep last night.
i have alot of confessions to make.
but theres completely no one that i can share with.
i realised there are no true friends in this world.
i really had an emo night.
my life now is so screwed.
how i wish i could disappear.
i didnt have the guts to face my misery.
oh my god.
O LEVELS is ending soon.
yet, i felt like bullshit.
phui. it isnt an happy occasion for me.
been through so much, nothing is worth being happy for.
damn.
people of my age will be rejoicing over the end of Os.
but me?
stay at home and sobbing throughout the day.
perhaps i should just follow my aunt and leave s'pore.
i dont want to think about my past, my present, my future.
IT'S ALL MY ILLUSIONS.
also. algin. i will leave the suprise i made for you outside your door step on the 6. whatever things that is meant to be yours will always be yours.
Friday, November 2
I'M SINGLE !!!
ITS NOTHING FOR ME TO BOAST ABOUT THIS. IM JUST SAYING THAT I WONT EASILY FALL INTO ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIIP ANYMORE. MISUNDERSTANDING, DISRESPECT, NOT HAVING TRUST, NOT BEING FILIAL MAY ARISE TO A BREAKUP. BREAKUP AINT THAT HAPPY AT ALL. YOU FEEL HURT, DEMORALISED. IT AFFECTS YOUR MOOD TERRIBLY. ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY. YOU HAVE TO ENDURE THE SUFFERINGS AND LONELINESS YOU FACE. ITS SUPER SUPER SUCKY. ALTHOUGH, WHEN IN LOVE, YOU FEEL THAT THE WORLD EVOLVES AROUND YOU. EVERYTHING SEEMED SO PERFECT. NAH. ITS BULLSHIT. SHITHEAD. I TOLD YOU BEFORE EVERYTHING WONT LAST. AND NOW I KNOW I ANIT THAT WORTHY IN YOUR HEART ANYMORE. YOU, WILL BE THE CULPIT THAT MAKE ME STOPP LOVING OTHERS. I WOULDNT BE TOUCHED BY ANY GUY'S GLIB TONGUE AND SWEET NOTINGS ANYMORE. MY HEART WILL FREEZE, NOT BEATING UNTIL THE DAY I FOUND SOMEONE LIKE YOU AGAIN, WHICH IS CAPABLE TO MAKE ME TEAR FOR THEM.
I WONT GAIN YOUR SYMPATHY INORDER TO MAKE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME. HOWEVER, I WILL JUST MAKE YOU KNOW THAT I'M THE PERFECT GIRL THAT YOU GAVE UP ON. THIS DOESNT SOUND CRUEL AT ALL, DOES IT? ANYWAY. ALL THE BEST BOY. WITH ALL THE PAST MONTHS, I'VE KNOWN YOU WELL ENOUGH. YOU'RE A GUY WITH CONFIDENCE. JUST THAT I TOOK THE CONFIDENCE AWAY FROM YOU, BECAUSE I AM SORT OF BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERY ASPECT, THEREFORE MAKING YOU FEEL INFERIOR. DONT WORRY. I CAN IMAGINE THE DAY WHEN YOU TURN INTO A FIT AND WELL TONNED GUY. WITH SHARP FEATURES, HOT BOD, NICE HAIR AND A CUTE FACE. WITH THAT, I CAN SAFELY ASSUME THAT TONNS OF GIRLS WILL HANG AROUND YOU, AND THATS WHEN MY HEART WILL LET YOU GO HOPING THAT YOU WILL BE HAPPY FOREVER.
ITS NOTHING FOR ME TO BOAST ABOUT THIS. IM JUST SAYING THAT I WONT EASILY FALL INTO ANY OTHER RELATIONSHIIP ANYMORE. MISUNDERSTANDING, DISRESPECT, NOT HAVING TRUST, NOT BEING FILIAL MAY ARISE TO A BREAKUP. BREAKUP AINT THAT HAPPY AT ALL. YOU FEEL HURT, DEMORALISED. IT AFFECTS YOUR MOOD TERRIBLY. ONCE BITTEN, TWICE SHY. YOU HAVE TO ENDURE THE SUFFERINGS AND LONELINESS YOU FACE. ITS SUPER SUPER SUCKY. ALTHOUGH, WHEN IN LOVE, YOU FEEL THAT THE WORLD EVOLVES AROUND YOU. EVERYTHING SEEMED SO PERFECT. NAH. ITS BULLSHIT. SHITHEAD. I TOLD YOU BEFORE EVERYTHING WONT LAST. AND NOW I KNOW I ANIT THAT WORTHY IN YOUR HEART ANYMORE. YOU, WILL BE THE CULPIT THAT MAKE ME STOPP LOVING OTHERS. I WOULDNT BE TOUCHED BY ANY GUY'S GLIB TONGUE AND SWEET NOTINGS ANYMORE. MY HEART WILL FREEZE, NOT BEATING UNTIL THE DAY I FOUND SOMEONE LIKE YOU AGAIN, WHICH IS CAPABLE TO MAKE ME TEAR FOR THEM.
I WONT GAIN YOUR SYMPATHY INORDER TO MAKE YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH ME. HOWEVER, I WILL JUST MAKE YOU KNOW THAT I'M THE PERFECT GIRL THAT YOU GAVE UP ON. THIS DOESNT SOUND CRUEL AT ALL, DOES IT? ANYWAY. ALL THE BEST BOY. WITH ALL THE PAST MONTHS, I'VE KNOWN YOU WELL ENOUGH. YOU'RE A GUY WITH CONFIDENCE. JUST THAT I TOOK THE CONFIDENCE AWAY FROM YOU, BECAUSE I AM SORT OF BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERY ASPECT, THEREFORE MAKING YOU FEEL INFERIOR. DONT WORRY. I CAN IMAGINE THE DAY WHEN YOU TURN INTO A FIT AND WELL TONNED GUY. WITH SHARP FEATURES, HOT BOD, NICE HAIR AND A CUTE FACE. WITH THAT, I CAN SAFELY ASSUME THAT TONNS OF GIRLS WILL HANG AROUND YOU, AND THATS WHEN MY HEART WILL LET YOU GO HOPING THAT YOU WILL BE HAPPY FOREVER.
Thursday, November 1
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