This blog is meant for us.
but now it seems that it is meaningless.
Now it is left with me the one who is striving for the survival of this blog.
Love, i've been through it zillion times. none made me mature except for this.
He, brought me to another level of living.
He introduced a new chapter of life into me.
He turned my miseries into happy endings.
Now, he wont be there for me anymore.
and i caused it. how stupid and foolish of me for losing him.
its just few days back that both of us were saying that we will enter Poly together,have a fun and thrilling teenage's life, having world of our own, getting married, having the world's most expensive car, owning a loving life.
It is all empty promises.
Being single isn't that bad. However there are times we will get lonely and think of each other. Its is the sweet and fun times that brought me to tears. Thinking back, so much laughter, so much love we had is gone down to waste.

He said to me that Forever is possible.
and i believed.
now i still believes.

I wan him to hate me for losing him. but i dont think he hates me. yet he msged saying ' I LOVE YOU. I WONT FIND OTHER GIRL. THERE IS NO ONE I FANCY '. this made me even more guilty.

2 more months to our 1 year anniversary.
I had to bid goodbye.
Its is such such such a waste. Never in my life i though i can last with a guy for that long except him. But i am wrong. I and him were like two very lovely couples. everyone knows that. it is really a long way that we've both come this far. From the day we stead, i rememebered he didnt dared to hold my hands. haha. then after months we had our first kiss. it took us alot of effort to do so. slowly we did wad couples does. our love grew daily. We hang out almost everyday to see each other. then we coach each other in our studies. I taught him maths. He said he like the feeling of me being concerned and caring for his math when i teach him. There were times we quarreled and argued. Both of us cried and i know thats because we love each other. Seriously, love is such a hurtful thing. I rmb once i begged infront of him for not to the leave me. love can turn me into another person. i guess i had to leave the memoreis of him behind and carry on with my life. But it is not easy. There are still times when i'm all alone and i feel the emptiness in me and my mind will drift off thinkin of him. Seeing him in school makes me feeling even more awful. the way he smiles the way he talks to others makes me wanna cry. The feeling is like, ' he's mine once before. yet we seemed so stranger-like. its so unfair.'

I dont think he would wanna patch with me if i really wan to. i know that he's sick of me saying breaking and patching all over again. I'm done over this relationship. I hope he doesnt forget me,and remembers in his life time that we are once a Loving couple. cause i know after our graduation day at KR, we wont see each other at all because of O levels and he has to fly to England during the December holidays. and next year the possiblilty of us enetring a new Poly is very small.

i wont be blogging so often unless things changes. Cause the purpose of this blog is to blog out our story, since, we are not togetehr anymore, it dont benefit the purpose.


i know you will be here to view this blog. This post are words that i wan to tell you. I AM SORRY.