I'm feeling very terrible right now. nothing can descibe how i feel now. school is so terrible that i have phobia for it. my social life sucks. im sucha loner but i do not give much a damn. i live in my own world. no one even cares.
GOD. i'm sosossoso sick, disgusted in myself.

He hurt my self-esteem over and over again. i sulked secretly on my bed every night to think that i'm such a failure. we quarrelled occasionally that i feel so sick and tired. it seems so inevitable. i'm changing. he is too. i stared into blank space without any reason or two. i feel so empty and helpless. the only remedy is his concern for me, but yet i receive his messages and calls. maybe he is avoiding me or dont even wish to talk to me coz i hurted him and perhaps he still bear grudges with me. Every min i peep over my phone just to see whether he replied, but he didnt. i was sadden everytime. why must he do this to me? such a beautiful relationship,we make it so ruined. i am crying now. he is the only shoulder that i can rely and talk to, but he disappeared in my world. where are you darl? i'm waititng for you to love me back. i'm not emo right now. please give me the feeling once before.

how i wish you are right beside me now and i want to cry in your arms. baby.